Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
