If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
