i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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