dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
COCAINE IS GR8
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