Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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