I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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