Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
