I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
