My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
