If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
