happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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