K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
