I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
