She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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