last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
