roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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