Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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