matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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