very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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