And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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