Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
