Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
