he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
