Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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