U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
