I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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