I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
