Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
