dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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