i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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