Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
