I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
