didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
They have beer where we have blood.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
