woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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