I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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