Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
