Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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