i think i have herpe
just one?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
