i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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