Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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