he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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