an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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