We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
