And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
