You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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