Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
