That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
