Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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