PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
