I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
