I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
