she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
