Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
